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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500902">Fairy Tale Weddings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allgoodsaiyansdeservetails/pseuds/allgoodsaiyansdeservetails'>allgoodsaiyansdeservetails</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Twisted Tales From Twisted Wonderland [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background Poly, Fae &amp; Fairies, M/M, NRC morals are not earth morals, Sebek is mentioned but doesn't appear, diasomnia is malleus' harem, fae are immortal and don't know what babies are, someone should probably tell him that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:28:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allgoodsaiyansdeservetails/pseuds/allgoodsaiyansdeservetails</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I've been engaged to Malleus for about six hundred years. Really, did no one tell him? He signed the forms himself. What did he think they were, some new tax evasion plan?” Lilia thinks for a moment, then sighs. “He probably thought it was part of some new tax evasion plan. Really, that boy...”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Malleus Draconia &amp; Yuu | Player, Malleus Draconia/Lilia Vanrouge, Malleus Draconia/Silver/Lilia Vanrouge/Sebek Zigvolt, Silver/Lilia Vanrouge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Twisted Tales From Twisted Wonderland [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fairy Tale Weddings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuu doesn’t feel nearly as bad about dumping Deuce and Jade’s ‘date’ in Ace’s lap as they probably should. They’ve been in Twisted Wonderland too long; the cheerful amorality is starting to rub off on them. Ace is out there somewhere, probably tearing his hair out – or drowning in jealousy because Deuce never managed to ask him out by accident – and Yuu is sitting peacefully outside Ramshackle Dorm, waiting for Malleus to come visit, watching Grim spit fireballs at stray leaves in the meantime. </p><p>Ah, bliss.</p><p>“Have you waited long, child of man?”</p><p>They look up. And up. And up. Malleus isn’t quite the biggest person they’ve ever met, but it’s close. Tall, dark, and horny – pfft, nah, they can’t describe him like that, even in their own head. He’d be so confused if they ever slipped up and said it out loud. “Nope. Just hanging out with Grim.”</p><p>“I see.” He hesitates, acid green eyes flicking over to Grim and back again.</p><p>Yuu cups a hand around their mouth. “Hey, Grim! Don’t go too far and don’t set anything on fire, okay? Malleus and I are gonna go walk around the grounds and talk about kissing.”</p><p>Grim glances at them and his entire body shudders. “Go away! You won’t fool me that easily, servant!”</p><p>They chuckle and haul themselves to their feet. They’re still a full head shorter than Malleus, at minimum, which gives them a lovely view of his chest. Score one for team short. They wish they could discuss this advantage of being tiny with Riddle, but the last time they tried he turned beet red, yelled, and then tried to take off their head. “All right, he’s good. Let’s go.”</p><p>Malleus nods slowly, elegantly, his horns tracing elaborate patterns in the air. Then he turns away and walks deeper into the woods surrounding Ramshackle Dorm. Yuu puts their hands in their uniform pockets and follows. </p><p>“So,” he says eventually, when the building is almost out of sight and there’s nothing to hear but the rustle of wind in the trees, “Why kissing?”</p><p>Crap. “It’s, uh, kind of an in-joke.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>Oh no, now Malleus is lowering his head and looking – ugh, what even is that bittersweet expression? Something between mournful and wistful? The eyes of a man watching a joy he’s never known? Yuu thinks fast. “It’s rooted in that thing that happened on Thursday! You know, when Floyd blew up his love potion and Azul panicked. Lilia was there.”</p><p>Malleus droops even further. It’s dignified drooping, but still. “Truly? Perhaps he has simply forgotten to mention it in my presence. I’m afraid he can be rather forgetful. Particularly on this subject.”</p><p>“Well, romance isn’t always the easiest thing to talk about,” Yuu says. “Just look at me.”</p><p>“Oh?” He looks at them. No, why they did they say that? Abort, abort. “Child of man, have you found someone of interest to you?”</p><p>There are two answers to that question: <i>god no, do I look like I want to die?</i> and <i>literally everyone here, thanks for asking.</i> Only one of those options will not kill the conversation dead where it stands. Yuu just wishes it was a bit less humiliating. “Er. Not anyone specific. That’s kinda the problem. Everyone here is just… kind of amazing, you know?”</p><p>Malleus blinks slowly, catlike. “NRC does endeavour to bring in extraordinary students.”</p><p>“Yes, but they’re also really hot. Some of the teachers, too.”</p><p>“I factored that into my statement,” he says.</p><p>Yuu exhales slowly. “You’re pretty calm about this. I was expecting you to be a bit more…”</p><p>What? Blushy? Embarrassed? </p><p>“It’s a familiar subject,” he says without a trace of shame. “Lilia kept bringing up beauty as a reason to attend.”</p><p>“That does sound like something he’d do, huh.” Yuu wonders if that reasoning would’ve worked on them. Probably. “I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’m not looking to start a relationship while I’m so far from home. Got more important things to worry about and stuff.”</p><p>“Prioritizing is an important skill.”</p><p>“Plus, the guys I was most into turned out to be dating each other.”</p><p>“Ah. And this is a problem?”</p><p>They nod vigorously.</p><p>Malleus coughs and looks away. “My condolences, child of man.”</p><p>“I mean, it wasn’t all bad,” they muse. “I got to learn more about my friends, at least.” Even if it was – and still is, thanks Azul – really awkward.</p><p>“A silver lining. I envy your resilience.” A soft sigh. “Or perhaps I simply envy your opportunities. I wonder if I shall ever have such an experience?”</p><p>Yuu raises an eyebrow. “What, being shot down? Finding out the person you like is already taken? Figuring out how to be friends with them anyway? Pretty sure those are universal experiences.”</p><p>“I would not know,” he says gravely. “Outside of my family, nobody has ever been brave enough to form a relationship with me.”</p><p>Oh. Right. They keep forgetting that. “Uh, there, there? I’m sure it can’t last forever.”</p><p>“It’s been hundreds of years.”</p><p>Yuu reaches up to clap him on the shoulder. “Then it definitely can’t last much longer! There’s a limited amount of bad luck in the world. You’re bound to run through it sooner or later!”</p><p>He gazes down at them, eyes dark, pale face luminous even under the sun, and for a moment Yuu considers stretching up on their tiptoes and tugging him down for a kiss. Then they remember Malleus could kill them with a careless flick of his fingers. </p><p>Sorry, man. They’re also too scared to start a relationship with him. </p>
<hr/><p>The next day, Yuu is still thinking about Malleus’ love life – or rather, his lack thereof. This isn’t exactly new, because Yuu deals with the thirst trap that is NRC mostly by fantasizing about the other students. And the teachers. And Headmaster Crowley, when he’s not being the most frustrating thing alive. They’re way too scared to actually come on to anyone, or even do some real flirting, but that doesn’t stop them from dreaming, okay? The real change here is that they’re not thinking about Malleus grabbing someone by the hair with his stony fingers or sinking his fangs into someone else’s bared throat, they’re just thinking about Malleus being lonely.</p><p>It’s depressing. They can’t say they’re a fan. The thought wears on them all day until they just can’t take it anyone. After the fifth time Crewel snaps at them to pay attention or else, they just kinda give up. They finish the rest of the day on autopilot and then go to seek out Lilia. He’s the one who knows Malleus best, right? He’ll know what to do.</p><p>When they track him down and explain things, Lilia tilts his head and laughs at them. Rude. “What are you talking about, youngster?”</p><p>“I’m just repeating what Malleus told me,” they say.</p><p>“Well, what’s Malleus talking about? Doesn’t he remember that he’s already engaged?”</p><p>“What,” says Yuu.</p><p>“What?” echoes Lilia. “It was all sorted out centuries ago.”</p><p>“Like, an arranged marriage?”</p><p>Lilia taps his chin with a clawed finger. “I suppose you could say that. I made a promise to his grandmother that I'd see to the arrangements. Though of course, I wouldn't have followed through on it if I didn't love him.”</p><p>“What,” says Yuu again, louder.</p><p>“I've been engaged to Malleus for about six hundred years. Really, did no one tell him? He signed the forms himself. What did he think they were, some new tax evasion plan?” Lilia thinks for a moment, then sighs. “He probably thought it was part of some new tax evasion plan. Really, that boy...”</p><p>“But – aren't you his father?”</p><p>Wide pink eyes stare at them in silence. Then Lilia laughs. “You've been listening to Silver, haven't you? That's just a nickname, I'm afraid. At least I hope it is, since Silver and I are also engaged, and I'm told humans frown on that sort of thing.”</p><p>“Yes,” Yuu squeaks, feeling as though the ground is once again tipping slowly out from under their feet. “We really, really do.”</p><p>Lilia nods firmly. “There you go, youngster.”</p><p>“But – you – ugh!” They bring one hand to their forehead and try to resist the urge to shake themselves until the world makes sense again. “You’re engaged to them both?”</p><p>“Indeed! Though I suspect only my engagement with Malleus would really count as an arranged marriage, at least by human standards, since it was his grandmother’s wish. Silver asked me himself.” He sighs happily, the curtain of bats around his shoulders all darting about with excitement. “Though he was quite small at the time. I suppose I should make sure he also remembers our engagement.”</p><p>“How small?” Yuu asks weakly.</p><p>Lilia floats down and holds his hand about two feet above the ground.</p><p>“That’s – that’s an actual child.” </p><p>“I am aware,” he says breezily. “Human children say things they don’t mean all the time, right? It seems rather odd to me, but then, fae don’t really do the whole ‘childhood’ thing. Raising Silver was quite the process!”</p><p>Yuu has two options here: they can either throw a fit the way they did when Jade and Floyd kissed and hope that makes Lilia stop, or they can plaster a smile onto their face and desperately hope he stops of own volition. Or at least manages to explain things better than Azul did. They’re going with option two. Lilia is usually nice enough, but he feeds off distress and suffering, possibly literally. “So, uh, what do fae do instead?”</p><p>“We’re born directly from nature as adults, so aging is quite the alien thing to us. We do mature with time, but we don't 'grow up.' The first time I saw a human child, I thought it was some kind of pet! I had no idea why the adults watching over it got upset when I tried to buy it from them.”</p><p>Well, that’s… horrifying. “So you just… don’t age?”</p><p>Lilia grins. “Not in a way you’d recognize it. Everything I know about childhood is something I’ve figured out second-hand by interacting with other races. Mostly humans,” he adds thoughtfully. “Merfolk tend to grow up fast.”</p><p>Yuu thinks of what little they know about Jade and Floyd’s childhood and grimaces. “I can imagine. So you’re… not Silver or Malleus’ father, even though you took care of them?”</p><p>“Goodness gracious, no. All I did with Malleus was pick the egg off his head, teach him some solid ruler’s etiquette, and stab him gently when he breathed fire at the wrong things. Everything else, he took care of himself. He wouldn’t thank you if you implied that I shaped the way he came out.”</p><p>“And Silver?”</p><p>“Hm. Silver is trickier.” He falls silent for a second, eyes narrowed in thought. “I was rather busy when I picked him up as a baby, so I often had to hand him off to Malleus or Sebek so I could go deal things that needed my attention. Sometimes this meant leaving him for months or even a few years.” The bats droop. “Sometimes, I would return and he wouldn’t recognize me. I doubt I could truly call myself a parent, even if I wished to, after abandoning him for so long.”</p><p>“That sounds totally normal, actually,” Yuu says hastily. “At least, for my world.”</p><p>“Well, regardless, I don’t consider myself a parent,” Lilia replies. “I doubt Malleus does, either. Sebek certainly does not. We are just a scattered group of individuals who chose to rely on each other for some reason or another.”</p><p>“So, you’re… a found family?” That makes things a little better. Maybe.</p><p>No, wait, it totally doesn’t. Silver was still a baby when Lilia found him. Everything is awful.</p><p>Lilia’s eyes go soft. “All families are found. Did you know that Sebek was born from Malleus experimenting with lightning spells? It was the sweetest thing – one moment, the sky was full of green lightning, and the next Sebek had poofed into existence at Malleus’ feet. The first words out of his mouth were ‘my lord!’ He swore his loyalty to Malleus on the spot.”</p><p>“Sebek is Malleus’ kid?” Yuu blurts out.</p><p>“Not at all! And they’d probably be very confused if you tried to raise the issue. Sebek is still quite young himself, you know. He watched Silver grow, but I doubt he understood what was happening. He kept trying to challenge a two year old to trial by combat.”</p><p>“That actually explains a lot about their rivalry.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it?” Lilia glances at Yuu’s face and reaches out to pat their head. They hold very still and try not to flinch away from his claws. “Don’t make that face. It’s okay if you don’t understand. This old man certainly doesn’t understand humans, though he’s had hundreds of years to try. Let me try and put things in a simpler format, hm?”</p><p>Yuu swallows hard. “Please.”</p><p>“Humans have many ways to love, but faeries only have one. To us, there’s no clear distinction between friendship, romance, sibling ties, parental regard, or the admiration you might feel for a teacher or distinguished colleague. Whether we act on those feelings or not, it’s all the same kind of love.”</p><p>“But you can choose not to act on them?” Thank god, a lifeline.</p><p>“Of course.” Lilia’s eyes sparkle. “It would be rather distracting for everyone if I was perpetually coming on to Divus in class, wouldn’t it?”</p><p>That… sounds like the kind of thing Yuu might fantasize about alone, in private, far away from the weird, confusing, and generally terrifying reality of Twisted Wonderland. “Please don’t do that.”</p><p>“You sound just like he did when he confronted me before my first semester. Except he made it sound like a threat instead of a plea.” </p><p>Yuu clears their throat. “So, what if Silver didn’t mean it? I mean, he was just a kid…”</p><p>Lilia keeps smiling, but his eyes go sharp. “If he changes his mind before the wedding date, then he can certainly change out the other name or even call it off... provided he gives me recompense for breaking the arrangement.”</p><p>“Recompense?”</p><p>“Blood for injuries rendered.”</p><p>“Ah,” Yuu manages. “That’s… good?” It’s not good. It’s very not good. They wanna go home.</p><p>“I do hope he won’t.” A soft sigh. “Humans never seem to get what weddings mean to us fae. If all love is celebrated the same way and you call off the celebration, aren’t you just saying ‘I don’t love you after all?’”</p><p>He looks so upset that, for a moment, Yuu seriously considers giving him a comforting shoulder pat. Then they remember that Lilia’s mood is almost as unpredictable as Floyd’s and keep their hand safely out of range. They don’t think he’d hurt them, but they also think he’d laugh if they actually did get hurt, so. “I guess… if fae weddings are just a demonstration of affection, then you can have as many spouses as you want, huh?”</p><p>“Exactly,” Lilia says, perking up immediately. “Though Malleus still needs to be careful. A strong tie to the prince of the Valley of Thorns is quite the weapon in the political arena.”</p><p>“Then he should probably know about your engagement.”</p><p>“…I’ll go tell him this evening.”</p>
<hr/><p>So that happened. Yuu wishes they were more surprised, but at this point they’re starting to get used to all these hidden cultural landmines. They made it through this one without even crying once. Is that something they should be proud of, or a sign that this world is beginning to get to them? Either way, they head off to find Silver as soon as they part ways with Lilia. He needs to be informed.</p><p>“Ah,” he says, blinking slowly. It’s a gesture that’s terribly reminiscent of Malleus. “So it’s like that. I’d forgotten.”</p><p>“I thought you might’ve,” Yuu says, trying not to fidget too obviously. “So, uh. What are you planning to do about it?”</p><p>He hums softly, white lashes sweeping over his cheeks. “I should apologize to Lilia. Forgetting my own wedding… how embarrassing.”</p><p>…really? That’s what he’s upset about?</p><p>“Then I suppose I should do some self-reflection,” he continues. “I certainly care about Lilia, but it’s probably not the way he cares for me. If I can’t accept that, then I should cut things off with him gently.” There’s a moment of silence. Then he opens his mouth and keeps talking. “Though in that case, I should consider what I’m going to about Malleus and Sebek. I may have promised to marry them, as well.”</p><p>Yuu splutters. “’May?’”</p><p>“I definitely promised to marry Sebek,” he clarifies. “And we may have expected to have Malleus join in, but on retrospect, I can’t remember if we actually told him. We should do that before the wedding date.”</p><p>“You’re making it sound so reasonable.”</p><p>“It is reasonable,” he says. “Or at least, it’s not unexpected. Faeries have a bad habit of falling in love with other species and then getting upset over misunderstandings. It’s best to just lay things out as they and talk calmly like adults.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” they try one last time. “You’re not even a little bit… afraid?”</p><p>Silver nods, smiling faintly. “Why should I be afraid? Whatever they else they are, they’re my family.”</p><p>The serene happiness in his sleepy voice stays with Yuu long after they give up and go back to bed.</p>
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